you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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