she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
My liver just had a heart attack.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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