She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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