I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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