I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
