Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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