it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
