I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize