Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
