SEEEEXXX PLEASE
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
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