You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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