i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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