he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
