I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize