can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
