I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
