Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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