i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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