This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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