I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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