who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I need to stop coming to work sober
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
