Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
