Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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