so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize