I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
