so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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