Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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