DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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