Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
it's like iHOP with fire
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
