ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm at about main and main street
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
