i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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