So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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