It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize