I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
