I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize