what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
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i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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