there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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