This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize