Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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