hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
