just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
