I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Holy shit dude........stairs
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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