Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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