Soap is not a condiment
ugly people sure do ruin things
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
