He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
