I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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