..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i would punch a child for taco bell
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
