My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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