I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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