Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
