Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
The feeling are messing with the penis
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
i think i just lost a toe
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
