There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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