its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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