At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
