he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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